


Rowdy Parenting

by Tella_Tale



Series: Rowdy Parenting [1]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Adventure, Angst, Babies, Danger, F/M, Family, Fluff, M/M, Romance, minor violence later on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-03-29 17:52:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13932201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tella_Tale/pseuds/Tella_Tale
Summary: This is a series of ideas shared between GuenVanHelsing and me on Tumblr discussing what kind of parents Amanda and Martin would be which slowly snowballed into an idea where The Rowdy 3 have to protect their newest member from Blackwing and the dangers of being connected to the Universe.





	1. Solved It!

Things had gotten weird long before Amanda found herself locked in a gas station bathroom. First there was the flu like nausea, then food not tasting like it used to. Gripps told her she smelled ‘different’ but she kept calling it the flu so they didn’t question it. Martin could tell something was wrong by the way she grew distant in the last few days but he never pressed her for information, simply waiting until she was ready. Though that didn’t stop him from worrying night and day that he had done something wrong. 

As she waited, sitting on the rip of a railing beside the toilet, Amanda knew they were waiting for her on the other side. She told them she needed to stop to vomit again but there was little point lying to four people who could sense dishonesty and a rainbow monster who was constantly at your side when trying to discreetly shop for a pregnancy test in a truck stop. Thankfully Beast wasn’t the best at reading and Amanda hand made it to the bathroom safely but that didn’t change the fact that she would have to come clean to the Rowdy 3 about the surprise new member. It wasn’t that Amanda wasn’t happy, but living on the road, the way that the did and the dangers they faced. It was a lot to handle on their own let alone adding an infant into the mix. 

They would go weeks at a time sleeping outside with no plumbing or fresh water source. Staying in cheap motels were a luxury and since they’d gone on tour looking for more tools of the universe, Amanda had sold her house in Seattle not seeing any point to having an address until now. A baby needed a roof over it’s head, and a warm bed to sleep in at night. How was she possibly going to make this work? A hand fished her phone out of her pocket scrolling until she found Todd’s number. It had been almost a month since they’d spoken. He and Dirk were busy on some new case the last time she tried to call, having to leave a message with the answering machine at the agency. It rang a few times and to no surprise it went to the automated message. 

“Hello! You have reached Dirk Gently’s Detective Agency,” Dirk’s voice spoke in a cheerful tone. “We are currently away from the phone right now, probably on a super big important case, but your case is important to us too so please leave your name, number and name of your murder victim and we will return your call as soon as possible, given we are still in this time or dimension….” The voice faded but the message continued. “What do you think, Todd? Do you think people will like it? I quite like it.’

‘Hang up the phone, Dirk’” The answering machine finally beeped for her to speak. 

“Todd! Look, I’m coming over. I need to talk to you pronto! Something’s...up...” With that she hung up the phone not knowing what else to say. Taking a deep breath Amanda found her confidence to stand up and unlock the bathroom door. Her heart jumped and she took a step back gasping when she saw five faces staring back at her. 

“Everything okay, Boss?” Vogel had an arm leaning on Gripp’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, it felt really...stressful in there. Should we take her to a hospital or something. They say you can die from the flu!” Cross pointed out but Gripps shook his head. 

“That’s just babies and old people.” He retorted. The sudden mention of babies had Amanda’s head spinning again. 

“No, I’m fine.” She insisted as she walked past them to the van. Martin kept a watchful eye on her as he flicked his cigarette butt onto the ground, following behind. Amanda avoided any eye contact as she climbed in the backseat. “Rainbow, why don’t you ride shotgun?” She tried to offer a friendly smile. “I know how much you love sticking your head out the window.” something resembling a laugh rattled in the back of her throat. Martin paused as if he were going to protest but he just shook his head, lighting up another cigarette as he started up the van. Amanda noticed he usually chain-smoked when he was stressed only adding to the guilt in her gut. 

“Where to?” His tone sounded cold and he didn’t even bother to look in the rearview mirror as he asked. Amanda was too busy wrapped up in her thoughts to hear him a first time, a bit started hearing him speak. 

“Uh-Dirk’s agency. I need to see Todd about something.” Amanda answered finally. An uncomfortable silence filled the van and for the first time she felt separate from the rest of the group. She hadn’t expected it to hurt as much as it did but she had to figure this out on her own for now. The next four and a half hours were perhaps the most awkward and uncomfortable hours of silence The Rowdy 3 had ever experienced. The radio never once played it's energetic music and even the engine lacked it’s usual roar.    


Amanda had told the Rowdy 3 to take off and enjoy themselves for a bit, despite Vogel’s plea for her to tell them what they did wrong. He seemed to think she was leaving them like one would leave an unloved dog along the side of the road. 

“I just need like an hour with him. I’m sorry I can’t tell you more.” She truly meant it. “I promise when I’m ready,” eyes glanced at the blonde still sitting in the driver’s seat, facing forward. “I will.” The van pulled away leaving her outside the doors the the agency, her heart nearly breaking when Martin didn’t wish her goodbye like the others had. Taking a deep breath Amanda opened the doors, hoping Todd got her message. 

  


_____

  


“PREGNANT!?!?” Todd’s voice echoed through the walls of the agency as he nervously paced between Farah and Dirk’s desks. 

“How do you know?” Farah asked, clearly not happy with Todd’s reaction judging by the look she was giving him as he paced. Amanda handed over the six positive pregnancy tests she had used, dumping them onto the desk which only sent Todd into another groaning spiral through the office. Farah’s eyes went wide not expecting that much evidence. “Uhhhh….Well it’s good that you were thorough.” She nodded trying to sound supportive. Todd was in the background rambling on about what their parents would do when they found out and how their grandmother would be livid that she was having a child in wedlock, but Farah was there to step in and give Amanda the hug she needed. “It’s okay, **_all of us,_ ** ” Farah glared, speaking through her teeth at Todd for him to stop pacing and pay attention to his very anxious sister.  “are here to support you and love you and help you with whatever decisions you make. If you need help planning doctors appointments, or finding the right baby care books. Whatever, we got you...even if some of us are taking a bit more time adjusting to the news than others.” Farah cleared her throat at Todd. 

“Not to mention the cost it takes to raise a baby! I mean do the Rowdy 3 even make money? Do-do they sell beer cans? You can’t send a baby to collage on beer can money, Amanda!” Todd kept talking and Amanda moved but Farah stopped her giving a soft smile. 

“Please, allow me.” Fara’s hand whipped across Todd’s cheek shutting him up instantly. 

“Much more gentle than I would have been.” Amanda noted with a nod and a purse of her lips in thought. 

“Thanks…” Todd panted out of breath. “I’m sorry, this is just a lot of information to take in at once but I am really happy for you! Really!” He assured her still rubbing his cheek. “A baby is just kind of a big deal and...are you sure you are ready for that?” Amanda tilted her head back cackling. 

“Oh my god no! Are you kidding me? Todd, I am literally part of a gang that travels looking for danger.” 

“Mom would be so proud.” He added sarcastically before his eyes went wide. “Oh god! Are you going to tell them? Mom and dad? They still think the Rowdy 3 is a band you’re touring with!”

“Look I don’t know anything yet! I just found this information out like five hours ago and I am kind of freaking out so can you cool your panic shit for five minutes and help me before I go completely crazy?!” Amanda shouted finally losing her temper, tears welling in her eyes as she yelled at him. “I was scared and I just wanted my big brother, okay? You happy? I know you wouldn’t know much more than I do but as much as it pains me to admit it, you’ve always got my back when shit gets crazy...even if you suck at it sometimes.” Through her tears she broke into a smile and the siblings shared a laugh. “And I thought maybe we could figure this out together because I seriously have no idea how to tell the Rowdy 3 we are having a baby.” 

“We?” Todd tilted his head, his mind swirling with questions. “How many dads does this kid have?” Lightly Amanda punched his arm making look of disgust. 

“ _Ass_! It’s not like that. Martin is without a doubt the father, but we are a family and this affects all of us.” She explained. “And they can be very...delicate when it comes to big news. Not to mention I have no idea how Martin will react or if he even wants kids…” That thought lead down a dark path Amanda didn’t want to see the end of. Todd’s eyes went wide looking out the large office window when a flash of rainbow dashed across the street tackling Dirk as he was headed towards the agency after a coffee run. 

“Well you’d better think up a way to ask pretty soon.” Todd pointed behind Amanda for her to see the rest of the Rowdy 3 behind Beast who was now chasing after a flailing and screaming Dirk in the middle of the street. 

“Do we have ear plugs?” Farah asked, watching alongside them while the man in the bright yellow jacket ran between the rainbow monster trying to kiss him and the four vampires trying to feast on the fear. Amanda and Todd looked up at her not understanding why she would ask. “Dirk is about to find out Amanda is carrying a baby...You remember how excited he got when one of our clients found out she was pregnant during a case? He really got attached to her since day one and when she found out he screamed with joy for over twenty minutes.” Todd’s eyes went wide with horror recalling the incident. “That lady was just an acquaintance. Imagine how excited he will be when he hears it’s a close friend.” 

“Oh god no.” Todd looked out as Dirk was being carried bridal style by Beast into the office, The Rowdy 3 close behind. “Do we still have those tranquilizers from that case of the missing Lion case?” 

Farah shook her head. “No you and Dirk used them all up when that half robot, half cheerleader broke in last week.” 

“I _really_ missed you guys.” Amanda smiled, wanting to hear more about the half robot half cheerleader but the story would have to wait. The front door had finally opened and it seemed the Universe had brought them all under one roof again. Beast bounced in, releasing Dirk once they were inside. The Rowdy 3 followed behind, Cross Gripps and Vogel all prepared to start smashing up the agency but Martin whistled freezing them all in place before they turned their focus to him. 

“Hold up, boys.” Martin puffed his cigarette. Blue eyes looked Amanda up and down curiously. “I think Drummer’s got somethin’ she wants to say to us.” They moved together like a flock of birds, closing in and Amanda wasn’t sure if words or vomit would come out first but Farah put a reassuring hand on her shoulder and Todd took her hand giving it a squeeze. He nodded telling her to go ahead. It was now or never. 

“Are you dying?” Vogel asked first with worry.    
“Are you leaving us?” Gripps could barely get the words out.  
" Did we do something wrong?” Cross put a hand on Gripps’s shoulder.    
“Iz weh moovin in wif Bibbit?!” Beast asked with a hopeful twinkle in her eye. 

“No, no it’s nothing like that. I’m sorry I’ve been really weird lately and I know it wasn’t fair to keep you guys in the dark but this is something I needed to do on my own terms.” She began to explain, opening her mouth to draw another breath but Dirk was quick to cut in. 

“Solved it!” He piped up, eyes wide, jaw with the largest grin any of them had ever seen. He was staring at the pile of tests on his desk. He held one up, eyes still wide with shock. “Oh my god, Amanda’s pregnant!” 

“Dirk, this isn’t one of your cases.” Fara interjected. “And I’m sure Amanda is feeling very sensitive. So if you could…” her words faded, angrily gesturing for Dirk to look at Amanda’s stress. 

“I’m sorry, I just put it all together, the frantic voicemail, the sudden drop by, the six pregnancy tests on my desk. Which I am not picking up by the way. I hear you have to actually urinate on those to get the results and frankly ugh! I can’t help it if I’m the greatest Detective! I…” He quit rambling long enough for the information to sink in. “Oh my god Amanda’s pregnant! Amanda’s going to have a baby! There is a baby growing inside Amanda right now! This is glorious! And..and..” All joy faded when he noticed the incredibly silent Rowdy 3. “And I take it none of them knew yet.” The Rowdy 3 shook their heads together. “And I’ve gone and spoiled the surprise.” Farah, Todd and Amanda all nodded in unison. “Oh dear…” 

“Boss!?” Vogel turned around to Martin who was still standing at the back of the group. “Boss, I think Martin’s broken!” Cross waved a hand in front of his face but Martin was unphased, staring forward. 

“This ain’t good.” Gripps added, trying to shake Martin but again no response. The three men walked their leader to a chair, having him sit down before he fell. Eyes still staring forward, jaw hung agape. 

“ _I’m...I’m gonna…be.._.” Martin hardly got the words out. 

“A  _ father _ ! And Todd and I are going to be Uncles, and Farah an Aunt! Yes how brilliant!” Dirk quickly slapped a hand over his mouth. “Sorry... this is incredibly  difficult for me to keep my composure so I will be in the toilet until... **_this_ ** ...sorts itself out.” he gestured a hand over Martin before covering his mouth and retreating to the bathroom with a giddy squeal and shouting "UNCLE DIRK!"  from behind the bathroom door. 


	2. A slow dance among chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amanda and Martin finally talk alone

While Dirk hid in the bathroom everyone else remained in the office surrounding Martin as he continued staring forward only mumbling now and again to himself about his new situation. Amanda cleared her throat as she stepped in the middle of the crowd. “Okay that’s enough excitement for now!” She clapped her hands together loudly. “I think Martin and I need a few minutes alone.” Farah helped shuffle the Rowdy 3 out the door, pulling Todd along when he complained that he was being kicked out of his own office. Cautiously Amanda approached Martin, kneeling down so she was eye level with him. He finally focused his eyes over the rim of his glasses with the same shocked expression. 

“Martin, I...I’m sorry you had to find out like that.” A hand attempted to reach out for his but she wasn’t sure if he was ready yet. His lips finally closed and he drew a deep breath as his hand took hers and pressed it gently to his lips. 

“I thought I hurt you.” He confessed against the soft skin on the back of her hand before closing his eyes and kissing it gently. “When you wouldn’t look at me and then when you started pullin’ away, I thought...I thought maybe I’d lost control and fed too much last time, or maybe you had one ‘yer visions and something bad happened between us or..or….Whatever it was I knew you were too afraid to tell me and I couldn’t live with the idea of hurting you, Drummer. Not now, not in the future, not ever.” He gave her hand a squeeze. Amanda did the same in return, wiping a few tears from her cheeks. 

“So...you aren’t upset?” She asked with a sniffle and a small smile. To answer her question, Martin leaned in pressing his lips to hers while giving his head a shake. One hand cupped her cheek while the other moved around her waist before his hand slid over her belly. He closed his eyes, surprised he hadn’t sensed more than one presence before. The proof was undeniable when he stood this close. 

He finally pulled back looking into her eyes, trying to hold back a few tears of his own. “An’ don’t worry ‘bout us. I get why you wanted to come back to yer dorky ass brother and the British guy...not really sure who the other chick is. But, If you wanna raise this kid the old fashioned way, the Rowdy 3 will support you. Gonna break all our hearts to see you stay stationary, just promise you’ll let us come an visit an maybe still go on the occasional Rowdy Raid when you feel like comin’ back.” Suddenly Amanda pulled back realizing what he was saying. She shook her head rejecting the idea with her whole body. 

“Wait...you think I wanted to see Todd because I want to leave the Rowdy 3 and raise this kid in some apple pie, cookie cutter stuck in a house all day lifestyle?!!” Eyes narrowed disgusted at the idea before she burst out laughing. “Oh you are so lucky you’re cute.” She sighed kissing him again. “I’m not leaving the Rowdy 3. I came to Todd first because I was trying to figure out how to live with a kid on the road and find a way to make this work for everyone.” She explained and instantly relief washed over Martin. It took her back to see he was willing to give her up if that’s what she wanted, to see that he was prepared in a heartbeat to give up everything he loved if it meant her happiness. 

“So you’re not leavin’?” He held her a little closer as they both got to their feet, his head now towering over hers. 

“ _ Ain’t got no place to be but here with yo _ u.” the brunette reached on her tiptoes to give him another kiss. A large sniffle came from the hallway behind her and Amanda turned to see a very teary eyed Dirk with a box of tissues. 

“Please, don’t let me interrupt. I could hear you from the bathroom and I couldn’t help myself.. It’s just too beautiful!” He sniffled blowing his nose into another tissue. “I’m just so happy for the both of you!” Amanda rolled her eyes, gesturing for him to come closer. 

“Get in here.” She sighed reaching forward and pulling him in for what may have been the strangest group hug of the Detective’s young adult life. Dirk awkwardly looked up at Martin as Amanda held the three of them together. 

“See the Brotzman Baby is already bringing people closer together…” Dirk said trying to make the situation better but inevitably making it worse. Martin just grunted back with a nod until Amanda had released them both. 

“It’s a  _ Rowdy _ Baby.” Amanda corrected, looking at Martin with a sparkle in her eye and Dirk’s joyful expression fell.

“Rowdy? As in...a small destructive terror that cries and bites and-” he gagged. “Poops?” Amanda nodded excitedly letting out a giddy chuckle. 

“Kid’s gonna be an ass-kicker!” Martin shouted before letting out a howl. The Rowdy 3 took that as a signal to come back in, feeding off Martin’s enthusiasm. Once all six of them were wound up it was impossible to control what got broken. The rest of the boys joined in the yelling and howling and before long trash cans were being thrown across the room, a desk chair had been thrown out the window and Dirk’s desk had a few more crowbar shaped dents in it than when they had arrived. Dirk Todd and Farah could do nothing more than hide and wait until the destructive celebration was over. 

“If this is how they react now, imagine what her baby shower is gonna be like.” Todd gulped  while Dirk dodged out of a rogue sandwich that flew into the wall behind him. 

“Aww...that was my lunch.” Dirk pouted watching the tomato slice slide from the wall to the floor. 

“Get used to it. I don’t think they’re going anywhere soon.” Farah gritted her teeth, reaching for her gun when they tried to go near her desk. “Hey! Don’t touch those papers! I have a system!!” In the center of the chaos Amanda and Martin stood inches apart, looking into one another's eyes with broad smiles mirroring one another’s. One thing was for sure, wherever the Rowdy 3 went, Amanda was sure to follow. 


	3. Early Birds (29 Weeks along)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> summary is this is the fluffiest shit I have ever written and I loved every second of it!!!

It had been a long and trying twenty nine weeks. The plan so far had been to stay in Dirk’s house while Dirk stayed with Todd until Amanda had the baby. They still traveled around in the van by day and she sat out a few smashing raids, Amanda still participated in business as usual but they always made sure to be home before midnight so she could get enough rest and stay somewhere she could eat a healthy diet. The Rowdy 3 had made some sacrifices with little no complaint, wanting nothing but the best for Amanda. As long as they were all together nothing else really mattered, and they knew it wouldn’t be forever. Dirk’s place had a large yard to sleep in if the boys or the Beast were feeling cramped indoors, or sometimes they’d go on the occasional camping trip so things were still within their comfort zone. After everything Blackwing had done to them the last thing Amanda wanted was for them to feel confined. 

It also helped living with several people who could sense when she was having a craving or a mood swing. Martin never left her side for a moment and catered to her every need to the point that it got a little exhausting. She would have to remind him that she was pregnant, not lacking limbs to do things like cook her own meals or turn the TV volume down. It was incredibly strange to see him so...domesticated. He didn’t really care for watching TV and got fidgety if he sat still too long and it wasn’t helping that he was trying his best to quit smoking now that Amanda couldn’t. She found video games were a good way to keep most of the Rowdy 3 entertained if it were a day where they opted to stay indoors when she wasn’t feeling particularly well. The fast pace action kept their attention and they enjoyed when characters exploded or buildings were demolished. It wasn’t perfect but they’d survived worse things than living a domestic life for a bit. 

Unfortunately it was only five am and already it wasn’t looking like they would be going out any time soon. Amanda had awoken to heartburn, lots of freezing rain greeting her out the window and a killer migraine. She sat on the couch resting her ankles on the coffee table while her eyes kept closed wishing the headache away. It was far too early in the morning for the others to be up. When the weather started getting colder the six of them usually piled into the living room or Dirk’s bedroom depending on their moods or who won rock-paper-scissors that night. The bodies around her continued to snore which only added to the drum in her head.

As quietly as possible, she tried to sneak out from under Gripps’s head and tiptoed to the bedroom and crawling under the warmth cool covers. Her body shivered adjusting to the change in temperature until her body heat started to warm the blankets. The strange sensation of butterflies in her stomach sent a hand over her belly calming the baby who probably didn’t like the shock of cold much either. “Settle down now, mommy’s trying to sleep.” She hushed softly as she nuzzled into the pillow. The cool feel of the fabric felt good on her head, easing the ache of the migraine a little. Hearing the click of the bedroom door, Amanda didn’t need to lift her head to know exactly who was crawling in bed beside her. In the weeks they had spent together, she was starting to learn the sound of each person’s footsteps on the floorboards, or how hard they pushed open a door at four in the morning. She let out a soft moan when warm hands enveloped around her and she pressed her back against Martin’s chest. With now more than a similar tired noise he seemed to ask why she’d gotten up so early and moved to the bed. 

In return Amanda groaned as if in pain, pressing her temple to his lips. It took no more than the touch of their skin for him to feel how to help her. He fed slowly, pulling the pain away before placing a kiss to her temple. He didn’t want to risk feeding too fast and triggering a vision when she was this tired. “ _ Mmmm _ ... _ Breakfast _ .” he chuckled against the back of her neck. Amanda could help but smirk despite her usual grumpy-sleepy mood so early in the morning. “And how’s our...what is it now? A mango? Or a cabbage?” He rubbed her belly while his lips moved to her shoulder. 

“I will never understand why everyone in the world compares their unborn child’s size to food.” Amanda sighed still not opening her eyes until something he said struck her. Eyes went wide and she turned to him with a broad smile. “Hang on a second! You read the baby book Todd gave you!?” She could see the blush in his cheeks even in the dim light and which prompted an eye roll in return. 

“I might’a skimmed it.” He seemed to be hiding behind her shoulder as he spoke, not letting her fully see his embarrassment. He passed it off as holding her closer while lips distracted her by pecking along her neck. “It dawned on me that maybe I should learn a thing ‘er two about how not to break it.” Amanda went stiff and instantly he could smell the concern. She was just as good at reading him as he was her sometimes. 

“You are not going to  _ ‘break’  _ the baby, Martin.” She stated flatly while her hand moved over his to rub her belly. “Just because you’re part of the Rowdy 3 doesn’t mean you can’t have a gentle side. This kid is going to adore you, just like I do. And you are going to teach it how to raise hell, and wreck shit up. Not to mention they’ll have three awesome uncles and a wacky rainbow monster for an aunt who are going to be around to help us every step of the way.” She tried to assure him but it was something he had been worried about for a while despite her best efforts. “I promise, the moment you hold them you’ll never want to let go.” She felt him go rigid. “Martin?”

“You mean...I have to hold it? While it’s still little ‘n stuff?” Eyes stared off over her shoulder at the wall in front while he imagined something no bigger than a football in his hands then remembered all every football sized thing he smashed, or every actual football he crushed with his bare hands on one of their raids. He then started imagining a baby crumbling in his grip before he felt a gasp of panic rise in his chest. 

“Breathe, Martin! It’s okay, just breathe.” It felt odd since she was usually the one to have a panic episode but luckily she knew how to help them. “Keep breathing, focus on me.” A hand moved to his cheek and she tried to give him what little calm sensation she had. “It’s okay, I know you are afraid and that’s okay too. I’m terrified  _ but  _ I also know that there is nothing that has ever been able to stop us and I know we can do this together.” He relaxed slightly, easing into her touch but never really confirmed that he believed he wouldn’t somehow hurt the baby. 

“Get s’more sleep, Drummer.” A huff of hot air breezed over her head before he pressed another kiss to her head. “Worryin’ is somethin’ best saved for when the sun’s up, makes it easier to see the problem.” A hand pulled the covers over them until they were almost completely under, blocking out the ray of dull light peeking through the window as birds started to chirp outside. His thumb brushed over the bump of her belly and the baby moved under his palm as if responding to his touch and for a moment his heart skipped a beat.  


	4. Thundercats are Go!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Rowdy 3 have a visitor and things get interesting.

It wasn’t until the last few weeks that the Rowdy 3 had begun to feel the exhaustion of being in one place for too long. Amanda was already past her due date, begging the baby every day to just get there already. Knowing she was due at any moment, the boys opted to stay close to the house, making it hard to find something they hadn’t already destroyed. The neighborhood would be thankful when the loud messy hooligans went back on the road, leaving the now cage of a home behind. However no one ever seemed to directly complain to Amanda, nor did the Rowdy 3 ever give her reason to complain. Martin explained to them how she had been ‘Nesting’ when she constantly cleaned up after their destruction, and soon the four members never had to change who they were, but they always kept Amanda’s space clean. Sometimes even helping her when she set up the Baby’s room, or decorated the van with throw pillows and a new carpet. 

And although it was as good as their situation could get, Amanda couldn’t help but feeling worried something was about to go wrong. Getting closer to her delivery date, Amanda’s attacks had started to come back but this time her visions were harder to understand. It didn’t help that the visions melded in with her dreams at night making it difficult to tell what was her imagination and what was the possible future. For instance, she doubted giant floating pancakes taking over the planet was a plausible vision, but the image of Blackwing doctors pulling her newborn baby from her arms was enough to keep her on her guard. Normally she would have gone to Martin or Todd and Dirk with these kinds of concerns but they had been so wrapped up in the delivery going perfect for her to want to bother them with something that might not even be real. 

Out of everyone helping, Martin was perhaps the most stressed. He was constantly torn between trying to quit smoking and wanting to puff down half a pack every time the crib fell apart or he bought the wrong brand of diapers. The rest of the Rowdy 3 did their best to keep him occupied, and doubled the number of trips to the city dump to smash some things in a kind of stress relief activity. He never stayed long though, worried something would happen if he were away for too long. Amanda felt too sore to walk far these days, her ankles aching and swollen and back sometimes too sore to get off the couch unless she had to use the bathroom for the hundredth time. 

Today however, Amanda had been feeling better for the first time in a month. Something in her sparked the moment she woke up from yet another bad dream where a dark gloved hand knocked loudly on her door. It felt so loud she’d almost thought it was real until she saw none of the others had woken to any knocking. Martin was still passed out and would no doubt sleep another few hours after spending the night with Gripps and Cross trying to understand how the baby changing station worked. Each took turns practicing putting diapers on a doll only to get frustrated when they couldn’t figure out how the button up onesie back together which resulted in raiding the local beer mart and a small trash can fire of said onesie in the backyard. Amanda crept out of the bedroom, waddling to the kitchen to grab a bowl of fresh fruit Todd had brought over. A hand reached for the refrigerator door, pulling it open as she blinked at the light of the inside. 

Eyes scanned the shelf for the plastic wrap covered container before grabbing it and setting it on the table. Lifting the plastic off she got a whiff of strawberries and melon, feeling a sudden tiny foot jab her insides. “Patience, kid.” A half awake Amanda rubbed her belly while two fingers plopped a strawberry in her mouth. The sweet flavor only added to the baby’s movement, obviously demanding more, but Amanda’s smile faded when she felt a sharp cramp. Wincing she waited for it to pass with a heavy sigh. The breathing helped ease the pain but after a few minutes later it was back again. She continued to pace while eating her fruit cup in an almost obvious denial about what was happening to her body. Amanda had planned for everything until this moment but it didn’t ever feel like it would actually happen. 

The others must have sensed her distress because it wasn’t long before four tired men and a grumbling rainbow monster came slowly out of the bedroom one by one. “Drummer no sleps’es again.” Beast yawned while she hobbled over to Amanda and placed a hand on her belly. “Oooooooooohhhh. Bebe bouncy! Wakey Bebe make’a wakey Mama!” She nodded her big mess of rainbow hair as she continued to soothe both Amanda and the baby. It was oddly helpful. Martin appeared to be the last one to wake up, stumbling out of the bedroom, blindly searching for Amanda without his glasses. 

“Drummer? Feelin’ alright?” he asked already knowing the answer. Arms wrapped around her, kissing the top of her head as he held her tightly. He could sense something was wrong, but it felt weirder this time, like he could feel the baby worrying as well. Amanda tried to tell them all she was fine but another sharper contraction caught her in the lie instantly. Her hands moved around her belly as she took a few deep breaths. 

Cross had already gotten her a glass of water, while Vogel and Gripps got a chair and a blanket just in case she wanted to sit down. “Guys, seriously. I’m fine. This is probably nothing,” she said but her tone didn’t sound very convincing. “And...even if it is something we’ve all gone over the plan a hundred times. We got this.” She winced again. Cross tried to cheer her up by rubbing her shoulder as she sipped the water and offered a big grin. 

“We are all ready to be badass uncles, Boss!” Cross kept nodding with his excited, wild eyes wide open. “Those baby classes really paid off! Even if I still don’t know what a swaddle is.” 

“Yeah! Except I didn’t like the weird pudding they served. It tasted like carrots. I hate carrots!” Vogel groaned, picking up a jar of baby food Farah had dropped off the other day. “Gross, we got more. Is this all we have to eat once the baby gets here?” He stuck his tongue out disgusted, but opened the lid and dipped his finger in to lick it off, out of nothing more than morbid curiosity. 

“I’m just happy Drummer’s freaky visions of Blackwing stealing our kid won’t get to come true if she’s havin’ the baby now.” Gripps smiled and nodded. “I can sense it.” He sniffed the air. “Contractions are now almost exactly four minutes and ten seconds apart. I wouldn’t be surprised if your water broke any second.” As if some twist of cruel fate, there came a loud knock on the front door making them all jump. Amanda took a deep breath, trying to calm herself as well as the others. 

“Relax, it’s probably Dirk and Todd. Knowing them, Dirk probably got a text message from the Universe or something telling him to stop by before I go into full blown labor.” Amanda tried to rationalize with herself, knowing how the Universe worked with freaks like them. Nothing was ever a coincidence. “I’ll get it,” she suggested, getting up to open the door. Before her hand even reached for the door knob, letting it swing open Martin, Cross, Gripps and Vogel all went rigid. Martin tried to warn her not to open the door but it was too late. The familiar face of an older man with white hair and a perfectly trimmed mustache was staring back at the Rowdy 3 from the doorway. 

In the next breath the four men collected around her protectively, with a murderous look in their eyes. Martin snarled at Riggins, putting himself between the Agent and Amanda. “You ain’t got no place here.” His tone was as cold as ice and the words came from behind a clenched jaw. Riggins’ trembled slightly knowing what danger he was putting himself in by simply knocking on the front door like he were a neighbor asking to borrow sugar. The man put his hands up trying to show he was not a threat to the vampires or the very pregnant woman. 

“Martin, please. All of you. Listen, I haven’t much time.” He talked through the four men growling and snarling like a pack of wolves. “I am aware of Miss Brotzman’s situation, and believe it or not, I no longer work for Blackwing. I was let go after failure to capture you or Dirk Gently. However, I still have eyes and ears on the inside and I caught wind about what you boys have been up to, playing house. Which I must say came as a shock to me, but Blackwing hasn’t just left you alone due to disinterest,” he explained, making eye contact with Amanda from behind Martin. “They’re simply waiting until it is time to collect.” Eyebrows rose, knowing Amanda would understand exactly what he was implying. “They’ve assigned Osmund Priest to collect the mother and child for further studying. Project Incubus and Project R.B. are to be terminated upon collection.” Riggins paused turning his eyes back to Martin, looking him deep in the eyes. “I am trying to help you. I won’t claim to be innocent to all of this, but I would rather risk my life than let a creature like Priest get his blood soaked hands on something as innocent as a child…not again.” Riggins shook his head, recalling a distant memory. 

“Really wasn’t a problem for you when Blackwing tossed Vogel in the cage,” Martin spat back, eyes narrowing. He still hadn’t gotten his glasses, but he was close enough to lock eyes. “Wasn’t a problem when that sick bastard was shocking the shit out of us growin’ up! It wasn’t-!” Amanda rested a hand on Martin’s arm in an attempt to calm him. She moved beside Martin, not afraid to stand up to Riggins face to face. 

“Yes, I know, I know!” The old man put hands up in defence. “Nothing I can ever do or say will ever make up for the hell you boys went through. It was never what I wanted for you and we can discuss this another time, but Priest is on his way and none of you will stand a chance against him without my help.” Martin opened his mouth to argue again but once more Amanda intervened.

“Martin, wait.” She paused looking at the faces behind her, taking in how much rage Riggins filled them with. “He’s right…My visions. Remember? We can’t risk them coming true and if Priest is really after us we need all the help we can get.”

“How do we know he ain’t working for Blackwing and this is all just a trick?” Vogel pointed out loudly from under Cross’s arm. Cross had been physically restraining the boy to keep him from attacking. The answer was easy enough. 

“Smell ‘im,” Amanda stated bluntly. “See if he actually feels bad for everything he’s done and if he smells like he’s worried it’s worth the risk. Not like we can’t just beat his ass the second we find out he’s lying anyways.” She spoke in a cold tone, showing Riggins she wasn’t messing around and wasn’t afraid to fight back despite being pregnant. All together the boys sniffed the air, rather unhappy when the caught the scent of terror and concern melted in with heavy amounts of grief and guilt. 

“Still don’t mean we can trust ‘em.” Gripps snorted, cleaning out his sinuses. Riggins looked down at the large wad of boogers that just landed on his boots. 

“You don’t have to trust me...not yet anyways. Just trust that Priest is crazy enough to kill all of you,” the ex-Blackwing soldier explained further, glancing over his shoulder to make sure he hadn’t been followed. Martin looked between each member of the Rowdy 3, before finally looking down to the baby bump, gently brushing his fingers across the fabric of Amanda’s stretched out Inid Band t-shirt she was wearing. He turned back, shoving a finger in the old man’s face. 

“Fine, we give you a shot but don’t think I’ve forgotten the scuffle you caused with Drummer and that little squeak toy you called a soldier. And I sure as hell haven’t forgotten him pullin’ a gun on her and you certainly are going to pay for that, but you keep Priest away from our baby and our family and maybe just maybe we’ll leave you alive.” Martin gritted his teeth, not waiting for a response. 

In the perfect moment of the universe adding to the chaos there was an odd sound like a cup of water hitting the ground and everyone looked down at Amanda who just kept staring forward, not needing to look down to know what was happening. 

“Well shit...here we go,” she sighed, two hands resting against her belly while another sharp pain hit. Martin and Riggins stayed with her while the rest of the Rowdy 3 argued over where they’d put her hospital bag, and who would be sitting where in the back of the van.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been a long time since I've updated. Life had been busy but I plan to start updating again after july 2018


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